A Woman in Progress
This art piece has been a comforting project in the thoughtful process of finding my artistic voice for my upcoming shows. With everything I have planned coming up my mind was stirring. I was writing my first drafts of an artist statement, brain storming and planning for my upcoming shows. It continues to be a deeply thoughtful process.
I spray painted this canvas back in November just for fun, practicing technique and playing with colours. The painting sat in my studio for the next few months when things at work got busy. I played with different ideas in my head of what I wanted it to be.
I wanted to use my abstract methods but the cold Canadian winter limits what I can do. To practice my messy style of creating I need lots of space and lots of forgiving floor area. I have learned my lesson from angry landlords having previously only painted in my bedroom.
With all of these thoughts in my head, I felt like I was holding my breath. I needed to exhale. Breathe through a painting, a drawing, any form of expression to get these thoughts sorted in my head.
I started painting.
How will the world see my art in these shows? How will people see me after they see my message? Who will I be after this show? Will I help the cause? Will I offend people? How much am I going to share? Will I get in trouble?
Constantly worrying about the vulnerability with showcasing art. Having a voice and being heard in a way that is beyond myself as one person. I have been anxious. The one underlying tone in all of my thoughts was ‘self image’. How do I know myself? How do I see myself? For these questions there are many answers and spaces in between.
I started painting a woman.
I thought of who I wanted to be for myself. Strong, smart, and elegant. Who I want to be for other people like me, facing similar battles. Do I fit these roles? Will I ever? Maturing is a crazy thing as a woman and a human in this world.
This painting of a woman represents who I want to be, and my journey in getting there. I am not fully there yet and I don’t intend on putting myself out there in any other way than in the middle. She is free, I am free. She is becoming, and so am I.
